Nine Months of Avery

Dear Avery,

Today you are nine months old.

You’ve officially been out in the world as long as long as you were inside getting ready for the world. I am not a woman who adored pregnancy, but there were some amazing and wonderful things I cherished. When I was pregnant, I loved that you went everywhere with me. Even when you were lodged on my sciatic nerve and I could barely walk, I loved when I could feel you wiggling around in there. Your kicks were always reassuring, even in the middle of the night when they kept me from sleeping. Even though it’s a scary time, I felt like I could better protect you. But let me tell you, I adore having you on this side. You add so much joy and light and love to our lives.

This has been a busy month for you. At dinner a few nights ago, your dad even made a comment that you seem like a different baby in the last month. Your personality continues to grow every day and we love getting to see more of who you are. You are also learning so much every day. You’re now pulling yourself up on everything! You’re also starting to shuffle your feet while you’re holding on to the table or the couch and take a few tentative steps while we hold on to your hands. I’m pretty sure you’re going to be walking earlier than your brother was crawling.

You are so full of joy. Your smile lights up the whole room. You’re still such a charmer, snuggling close but smiling at strangers. You’re happy 90% of the time. That other 10%... well, let's say you've got enough spunk to hold your own around here. You laugh often, but you smile all the time. We love you so much baby girl, I just can’t even imagine our life without you. 

We’ve all been sick a lot this month. Between two kids and two parents, we seem to just pass everything around. You’re such a trooper, even when you’re totally miserable. You are NOT thrilled when you can’t have your pacifier, though. A few times you’ve been so stuffed up you couldn’t use it, and even though you don’t seem to care about your pacifier much, the fact that you couldn’t have it was just not okay with you! You spent a lot of nights sleeping on me and your dad this month. It’s not the best long term strategy, but it’s also a sweet time. We know it won't be long before the days of you curled up on our chests is only a memory, so we are cherishing it while we can.  

Much love,

Mama

Bedtime Lullabies

Carter currently has a routine (with his father, not me, might I add) to listen to a few songs before bed. For the first few, he burns off some energy with his awesome dance moves, and then he settles down and chills for the last one. His current bedtime playlist is:

Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO
Numa Numa by whoever the heck that is
Magic by  BOB featuring Rivers from Weezer
In Your Arms, aka The Jelly Bean song, which has this awesome video

This is the same child who, as an infant, loved Getting Jiggy With It. I think we may have a problem, or a future b boy, on our hands.

From the mouth of Carter

Today at Souplantation ,Carter scored a little soft serve. Seth explain that he needed to take little bites, and if he ate ice cream too fast he would get brain freeze.

A few minutes later, Carter asked "Daddy, you ate too much rice and got a brain head?"

Eight Months of Avery

Dear Avery,

Today you are eight months old. Well, technically today you are eight months and one day.  That’s fitting though, because your whole life I have felt like I was prepared for what I anticipated next and then all the sudden I was caught off guard when it actually happened. As you reach more milestones, that continues to be true. I’ll probably still feel this way when you graduate from college.

This has been a very busy month. We had a lot of fun and a lot of celebrations… and a few less pleasant things. In the first seven months of your life, you never got sick. Not once. In the last month, you’ve been sick twice, two colds you probably got from your brother. I got both of them, too. We’ve spent a lot less time sleeping this month. Hopefully next month will hold more sleep and less sickness.

Now on to the fun things! We celebrated your first Christmas. You loved it, and of course got way too many presents. You took it all in and wanted to be a part of every moment. You spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day charming all of your family, especially those who don’t get to see you as much as we do. You seemed to do well with everyone as long as you couldn’t see me. The moment I walked into a room when someone else was holding you, you started fussing. It was a busy Christmas, full of family and festivities, and you kept up with all of us. In fact, you may have had more energy than we did after all of the celebrations. Christmas Night you were so amped up you didn’t fall asleep until hours after your bedtime.

You’re crawling quite efficiently now, earlier and faster than your brother. You are determined to crawl to every bookshelf and attempt to eat every book. Don’t tell Carter, but there’s now a Diego book missing a corner. If we had caught you 30 seconds later it would probably be missing the entire cover. You’ve also continued to find your voice with great exuberance! You make a few odd noises that can really only be described as growling. A few days ago you started clapping. When you first started trying it a few days ago, you looked at your hands like you couldn’t figure out who was moving them for you, almost bewildered. Then, you slowly started moving your right hand with intention, smacking it against your stationary left hand. Now, only a few days later, you’ve got all the timing and coordination almost down. It is so amazing to watch you figure out the world and your place in it.

I usually feed you first thing in the morning, and those still quiet moments with you snuggled in bed are one of the best parts of my day. I spent 10 days at home with you and your brother and I loved being home with you all day. I was sad to go back to work, but thankful for our time together. We celebrated New Year’s Eve with dinner out, where you were determined to grab everything you possibly could (and a lot we thought you couldn’t reach) and chuck it all on the floor. You didn’t make it to midnight, but you were up shortly after. As we took a moment to reflect on the year, we had so much to be thankful for. You are without a doubt the best thing that happened in 2011. I’m excited for 2012, to watch you grow and see where this year takes us. I’m just so continually thankful to be able to experience each new day with you.

Love,

Mama

Don't Tell CPS

Last night, Carter ran over to the drawer in our kitchen hutch and started frantically flinging dish towels out of the drawer and on to the floor. We quickly intervened and asked him what in the world he was doing.

He responded, with a sense of urgency: "I'm looking for my shimmy shimmy cocoa pop!" He proceeded to locate a lint roller, which we're pretty sure is the shimmy shimmy cocoa pop to which he referred.

This is totally normal two year old behavior and vocabulary, right?

Just when things were looking up...

Last night, we found out that in less than two weeks Avery won't have a daycare provider so we're frantically searching for the perfect place for her, which is an all too familiar and unsettling process. This morning, Carter woke up crying that he didn't want to go to preschool and was so determined to convince us it was a holiday. He fought us the whole morning and whined the entire way to school, at which point he refused to walk in the door and turned to jell-o the second I picked him up. We're in the initial stages of accepting an offer on our house, which is great, but also means that we may be looking for a new home in the near future. This also makes it hard to pick a new daycare, considering we'd like something close to home and we have no idea where that will be. This comes along with the busiest time of year at work, which doesn't afford me much time to ignore my job and spend 24/7 researching alternative.

I was surprising calm about all of this... well, life hitting the fan. I have officially transitioned to mama bear mode. There's a threat to my children, I need to eliminate the threat.  I believe that with great reward/resource/power comes great responsibility, and that applies here, too. As a parent, I have these incredible blessings and a resulting expansive responsibility. I want everyone to be happy and healthy and fulfilled. Doesn't every mother? Priority number one: make it happen. There is no time for wallowing.

The other balancing factor here is we are incredibly blessed. These kids? They are awesome. Yesterday, I was sorting through the kids' clothes, packing up items that were too small and I found Avery's newborn beanie in the back of her drawer. I was shocked at just how small it was. It seems like a week ago she was this tiny little peanut in this sweet hat, and I honestly cannot remember her ever being that small. It was such a good reminder to cherish what we have.

2012 Anti-Resolutions

This year, I have a lot on my plate. A LOT. A two year old, a 7 month old, a dog, a house on the market, a husband, a full time (rather demanding lately) job, and many other things that pull me in various directions every day.

We have to be on. our. game. every morning to avoid disaster. Especially now that our kids are at two different places, that means two drop offs, two sets of stuff, and two parents who have to get to work, ideally on time. On top of that, the house has to be somewhat show ready in case an agent calls for a showing that day.

There are things I want to accomplish this year. I want to be more organized. I’m a very organized person, but I think we have some opportunity to declutter. I really want to move, but that’s mostly out of our control. I’d like to lose a couple inches, and maybe a pound or two. I’m pretty much at my pre-baby weight, but three and half years of pregnancy, childbirth, and nursing have shifted things around a little. I want to be healthier, and I really want Avery to sleep better so Seth and I can sleep more. As I posted about last week, we're in limbo in so many areas of our life, and I really hope that throughout 2012, the pieces fall into place and things settle a bit.

There are a few things that are just not going to make the cut this year.

I am not going to learn anything new. Someday, I’d like to play guitar, and maybe knit, and maybe speak Italian. None of those things will happen this year.

I’m not quitting anything. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink much, and all of my other vices, which are fairly innocuous, are sticking around in 2012.

I am not going to the gym. Sure, I want to be healthier and more active, but the gym is not getting any of my time or effort. I’d like to log more miles on my double stroller, definitely eat healthier, and maybe play a little more Dance Central, but I just can’t rekindle my relationship with the elliptical right now.

I’m also going to try really, really hard not to make new commitments. I’m pretty maxed out right now, so maybe this is a good year to learn how to no. We’ll see how that goes. 

New Year, New Hope.

I love new beginnings. This is a bit counter-intuitive because I don’t particularly like change. However, approaching 2012, I feel ready for something fresh and new.

I never want to forget the blessings of 2011. We are so richly blessed, first and foremost with Avery, but also with so many other things, both material and intangible. Overall, though, 2011 was a hard year. I’m ready to leave some of that pain and anxiety behind. Yet I’m acutely aware that we are so fortunate to be able to do that. I was constantly in remembrance this Christmas of so many people who have lost loved ones, particularly children. The baby at daycare whose parents we will never know, missing their sweet baby boy. A coworker whose dear son died studying abroad. A college roommate whose baby spent his first Christmas celebrating in heaven. My so-called trials and tribulations pale in comparison.

We don’t know what this year will hold for us. We pray that God’s hand will be upon us this year and He will walk with us through the tough times we know will come and we approach 2012 with cautious hope. 

In Limbo

Have I mentioned our house is on the market? I don’t know who I think I’m talking to, I’m pretty sure no one reads this blog. My own husband missed my entire 30 days of gratitude, and who knows what else. I keep telling myself someday my kids might want to read it.

Anyway, over a year ago, we made a difficult decision to begin the process to sell our house. Although we have realtors in our family who we love and trust, and actually helped us through the process when we bought the house, the legal process of a short sale is very distinct and complicated and using family would likely create disclosure issues and delays, potentially jeopardizing a sale, and probably not a wise decision. We chose an agent recommended to us. We first talked with him November 17, 2011, and he assured us we wouldn’t be “one of those short sale horror stories.” He gave us an example of a house that had just closed after almost 2 years. I was a few months pregnant with Avery and he hoped and expected that we’d be in a new home by the time she was born. We figured we would probably be moving the week she was due, knowing our life.

So we gathered mountains of paperwork, wrote letters, drafted forms, purged clutter, sent more clutter up to the attic, and made the decision to maintain a fairly aggressive showing schedule. We listed the house the first week of January 2011. We set up to allow for showings during the week day with no notice, by appointment on the weekend. This meant leaving the house show ready every morning, a massive challenge when battling an uncooperative toddler who leaves a trail of destruction behind him.

We had a few showings. Every day we came home, after an invariably chaotic morning, hoping there would be a card left on the table. January turned into February, which turned into March, and then April. I was growing increasingly exhausted as my pregnancy progressed and the pace of no notice showings became too much, so we changed the listing to appointment only. I think we got one call. In the meantime, my parents graciously put in a backyard for us. Our mounds of dirt and weeds are now a great patch of grass where Carter loves to play.

In May, Avery was born. A few weeks after she was born, an agent and buyer knocked on the door and asked if they could look around. I reluctantly agreed, thanks to the encouragement of my husband, and we shuttled them past the sleeping newborn in the master bedroom.

I went back to work in August and once we got our new routine down, we ramped back up on the housing front. The walls were closing in on us, and I wasn’t sure how much longer we could keep everything contained in our two bedroom house without a garage. I felt like the baby gear and toys threatened to overtake us at any moment.

We held an Open House in October. Still nothing. Not an offer, not a mention of an offer, barely a showing. We heard of a new opportunity through an investment company and a different agent that we felt we had to pursue. So we did, and after much prayer and consideration, we switched agents.

We gathered more paperwork, rewrote the letters, updated the forms. We felt a little exhausted to essentially start over, but cautiously optimistic and hopeful that it was the right decision. We met with the new agent, walked through the house with her, pointed out quirks and issues, and relisted it December 1, 2011, a Thursday. We took an emotional deep breath and braced for the somewhat grueling mornings, now trying to leave the house show ready with an even less cooperative toddler and an infant to get out the door.

That weekend we had our first showing! We cleaned like mad, shoved a few things out of sight (also, there are very few places “out of sight” considering buyers generally want to look in closets and cupboards), and crossed our fingers. Later that night, I got a call from the agent saying the buyer liked it and wanted to come back the next day and then make an offer. As it turns out, she didn’t come back and didn’t make an offer. The next week, we had showings on Thursday, two on Friday, and we got an offer over the weekend.

The week after, we got the official offer paperwork. We went back and forth and on the last round of counters, it stalled. We've had many other showings, and a few more potential buyers. Someone is coming for a second showing today, and there's one particular somewhat crazy lady who has come 3 times and continues to drive by. I saw her drive by four times over the weekend, and she also brought us Christmas treats.

Selling a house is a lot like dating, and this feels like speed dating. I really hope someone likes us before the bell dings and they move on to the next option. If we get an offer (and finalize it), we begin the next steps, which may take 60 days or 6 months, maybe more, and probably a 30 day escrow after that. Even if everything goes perfectly, it’s going to be a long time. Yet, we feel like we have to be prepared for a quick turnaround, in case we are caught by surprise. This trickles into so many areas of our lives. That’s the part that makes me crazy anxious. Where will we live? Will we have to switch Avery’s daycare? We’ve been planning to move Carter to preschool in January. Will we have to move him to a new preschool? Is it still a good idea to switch him, or should we wait? How will he handle the change, considering he is the most inflexible child ever? Those are the questions we’ll have to answer slowly as we trudge through this process.

Then there are other questions… Some of those are the ones we’ll never be able to answer, but we trust there’s a reason for everything and a lesson to be learned. Eventually, we’ll be on the other side of this. At least we hope so. 

Seven Months of Avery

Dear Avery,

Today you are seven months old!

You continue to be a joy and delight. You are sugar and spice and everything nice. You are the sweetest, cutest baby girl I’ve ever encountered. You are a little charmer and win everyone over with your adorable smile. I took you to Costco last week and many people commented on how adorable you were, perched up in the top of the shopping cart taking it all in, smiling at everyone. One woman told me you looked like the Queen of Costco. We went out to lunch a few weeks ago and a couple at a nearby table actually stopped me to tell me how well behaved and delightful you were. You’re also a little spice, and you’ve got a little feisty streak. I may regret these words later, but I like that. I’m glad you hold your own. Overall, though, you really are all things nice.

We celebrated your first Thanksgiving this year, and you loved it almost as much as everyone loved you. Lots of our family was able to meet you for the first time. You looked absolutely adorable in your sweet dress and tiny dress shoes. You ate sweet potatoes while we feasted on the same, and made it very clear you did not want to be left out of the festivities.

You love to sleep on your tummy. The second I put you down, even if you’re completely asleep, you roll from your back to your stomach. You are so cute sleeping, with your tush up in the air and your sweet hands tucked under your chin. Also, as a side note on the topic of sleep, we would like more of it. When will you release us from the 3am wakings?!

I took you in for your six month checkup last week. You and your brother were fairly well behaved for the entire TWO HOURS we were stuck there. You’re just a happy girl and when you got fussy, I was able to buy some time with a new toy and you were back to your content self. At the end though, when you got your shots, you were furious! I have never heard you scream like that. I felt just awful, it was so sad. I think you were more angry and surprised than anything else. It was a good opportunity to spend some extra time snuggling with you.

You are finding your voice more and more lately. We love hearing your little noises and trying to figure out what you’re telling us. You are so close to crawling! You pop up to your knees and rock back and forth, but you haven’t quite figured out how to move forward. Occasionally you scoot back and you definitely have figured out how to roll where you want to go. In fact, you’re faster than we can keep up with. Once we set up the Christmas tree, you entire goal in life was to roll under it and grab the ornaments. How such a tiny baby can out-roll two adults is still a mystery to me!

Every day with you is a delight. Well, most days. You are such a perfect addition to our family. You probably wonder what in the world is going on with all this chaos, but most of the time you just laugh at it and find it generally amusing. I hope you hold on to that quality for the rest of your life and always find it within yourself to laugh when things gets a little (or a lot) crazy.

Much love,

Mama