12 Months!

Dear Carter,

I’m pretty sure this letter will be the one that mama wrote while crying. You are 12 months old today. You are ONE YEAR OLD. I’ve had a few occasions recently when I’ve come to come face to face with that revelation. When you crawl over to the nerf box and fling darts and weapons around in joy, I know that you’re becoming a little boy. When I tell you “no” and remind you once again that you cannot play in the dog’s water and you repeat “no” back to me, I know that you’re growing up. I think Daddy is really happy to get to play nerf with you and takes such pride in showing you the ropes. When you push away jars of food and demand a waffle (or five) for breakfast, I know your baby days are behind us. I do miss the baby time, and I will always cherish those times with you. But I love the boy you’re becoming and it makes us so happy to see you growing and figuring out the world.

Sometimes it feels like a brief fleeting moment since you came crashing into our lives. More often, I can't remember life without you. It's like you've always been a part of our world and nothing else would ever do. I think a child’s birthday is a celebration of their life, of course, but also a milestone of achievement for his parents. We made it! We all survived another year! We’ve kept you safe and healthy for this long! I sure hope you turn out to be more patient than your mother because we’re still figuring this whole thing out.  Last night, the earth celebrated your upcoming birthday with a little shaking and rolling. I was in bed when the house started shaking, and after about 0.7 seconds, I realized that it wasn’t going to stop. I bolt out of bed and flung myself out the door just as your dad was coming around the corner to scoop you up. Here’s the thing, I ran to get you and didn’t even stop to glance at my phone or anything else. We even left the dog inside before I pulled her out in the front yard with us. You were cool with the whole thing and I’m pretty sure you thought it was funny. You just snuggled into my arms and laid your head on my chest or hung out in daddy’s arms watching the dark neighborhood. It was precious. And then when it was all over and we knew it was safe, we took you back inside and plopped you back in bed and you went right back to sleep. Welcome to life in California. Don’t ask me what to do in a tornado or hurricane, but earthquakes?  I got that training. In a few years you’ll be crawling under your desk in earthquake drills (not that it will actually help you. Just run outside, okay?).

There have been some delightful and wonderful moments this month. We had a lovely memorial day filled with family and fun. You went swimming twice that day and LOVED every minute. You cried when we took you out of the pool. You are such a little water baby. Your auntie came home from college and you love her! It warms my heart to see you two together. You’re closer to walking and just about the fastest crawler I’ve ever seen. You’re talking more and you are a little parrot, repeating sounds and words all the time. You’re making noise almost constantly. Strangers still get a kick out of you out. You love animals, especially Stella, but pretty much every animal. You’re a very sweet child, and especially now that you give hugs, my heart practically explodes with contentment. You give such great hugs and nuzzle into my neck and throw your arms around me. That right there was all I ever needed in life. Daddy doesn’t really get too many hugs. The funniest thing is when you give inanimate objects hugs. Apparently you think “hug” means “smash against your face.” Hugging your ball involves clobbering your forehead with it. You also do a funny thing we call night-night-wake-up! You rest your head on something for about 2 seconds and then abruptly pop up and laugh. It’s even funnier when you come night-night on the laundry basket or the dog.

 You treat boundaries as challenges, and when we won’t let you do something, you have two responses: all out TANTRUM complete with total drama and carefully calculated protruding bottom lip or charm us into letting you do it. Hey, look how cute I am playing with this forbidden danger. My smile, isn’t it great? Don’t you love how happy I am right now? You are a total con artist and I fear for the future, but for now it’s very amusing.

You are so vibrant. You are absolutely full of life, bursting at the seams with activity and sparkle . This doesn’t surprise me. I knew from the moment I felt you kick we were in trouble. And as you continued to grow in my tummy you continued to crash into my ribs and fling yourself around in there like it was your own personal mosh pit. You were born kicking, it was the first thing you did. You kicked the nurse, right before you peed on her. And then on your dad. You weighed 8 pounds and 15 ounces by the time they weighed you, but I’ve decided I’m taking credit for all nine pounds that you probably weighed prior to the peeing. You continue to be the most active kid I’ve ever seen and completely a maniac. And you are completely hilarious and a performer on top of that. You keep us laughing all the time, especially when you check to make sure we’re laughing appropriately.

We had a great party with you over the weekend. It was a great time surrounded by about fifty of your closest friends and family. You weren’t so sure about cupcakes, which was shocking. You sure loved trucks and presents that made noise though! I loved making signs and banners and centerpieces and generally going all out to celebrate you. A few people complimented us on the party and I wanted to correct them and tell them the best thing I’ve ever made is you. Sure, the cupcake may have been cute and the banner was alright, but you are my most prized and proudest accomplishment. And yet, I really can’t take credit for how awesome you are, I’m just thankful for the huge and undeserved blessing to have as a child.

You have made your father and I better people and I hope that over time we are better and better parents.  I want nothing less than the absolute best for you. I cherish you so much little boy. I never knew my heart could be so full and my joy so complete. I am so, so proud to call you my son. I am so happy to celebrate your birth and the first year of your life and I look forward to many wonderful years to come.

Happy birthday sweet monkey.

Love,

Mama