My babies and my baby daddy

Happy Father's Day to a really awesome dad. We all love you.

A moment.

A funny thing happened this weekend. We took a family trip to the fair, where I worked for 7 years when I was in high school and college. I know every type of fair goer and have experienced them all from the register side of the counter. This time, I was on the customer side of the counter. When I walked up to buy my cinnamon roll (seriously, one of the best things at the fair) with a baby strapped to my chest and my husband pushing a stroller behind me, I suddenly realized I'm a MOM. Obviously, I knew that, and I've come to terms with the loss of my coolness. Well, I was never really cool, but now I've lost all potential. I know exactly how that teenager saw me, and how I saw many mothers who walked up to my counter in the past.

I wouldn't trade in the baby in that pouch for all the cool in the world. Still, it was a weird moment.

12 Months!

Dear Carter,

I’m pretty sure this letter will be the one that mama wrote while crying. You are 12 months old today. You are ONE YEAR OLD. I’ve had a few occasions recently when I’ve come to come face to face with that revelation. When you crawl over to the nerf box and fling darts and weapons around in joy, I know that you’re becoming a little boy. When I tell you “no” and remind you once again that you cannot play in the dog’s water and you repeat “no” back to me, I know that you’re growing up. I think Daddy is really happy to get to play nerf with you and takes such pride in showing you the ropes. When you push away jars of food and demand a waffle (or five) for breakfast, I know your baby days are behind us. I do miss the baby time, and I will always cherish those times with you. But I love the boy you’re becoming and it makes us so happy to see you growing and figuring out the world.

Sometimes it feels like a brief fleeting moment since you came crashing into our lives. More often, I can't remember life without you. It's like you've always been a part of our world and nothing else would ever do. I think a child’s birthday is a celebration of their life, of course, but also a milestone of achievement for his parents. We made it! We all survived another year! We’ve kept you safe and healthy for this long! I sure hope you turn out to be more patient than your mother because we’re still figuring this whole thing out.  Last night, the earth celebrated your upcoming birthday with a little shaking and rolling. I was in bed when the house started shaking, and after about 0.7 seconds, I realized that it wasn’t going to stop. I bolt out of bed and flung myself out the door just as your dad was coming around the corner to scoop you up. Here’s the thing, I ran to get you and didn’t even stop to glance at my phone or anything else. We even left the dog inside before I pulled her out in the front yard with us. You were cool with the whole thing and I’m pretty sure you thought it was funny. You just snuggled into my arms and laid your head on my chest or hung out in daddy’s arms watching the dark neighborhood. It was precious. And then when it was all over and we knew it was safe, we took you back inside and plopped you back in bed and you went right back to sleep. Welcome to life in California. Don’t ask me what to do in a tornado or hurricane, but earthquakes?  I got that training. In a few years you’ll be crawling under your desk in earthquake drills (not that it will actually help you. Just run outside, okay?).

There have been some delightful and wonderful moments this month. We had a lovely memorial day filled with family and fun. You went swimming twice that day and LOVED every minute. You cried when we took you out of the pool. You are such a little water baby. Your auntie came home from college and you love her! It warms my heart to see you two together. You’re closer to walking and just about the fastest crawler I’ve ever seen. You’re talking more and you are a little parrot, repeating sounds and words all the time. You’re making noise almost constantly. Strangers still get a kick out of you out. You love animals, especially Stella, but pretty much every animal. You’re a very sweet child, and especially now that you give hugs, my heart practically explodes with contentment. You give such great hugs and nuzzle into my neck and throw your arms around me. That right there was all I ever needed in life. Daddy doesn’t really get too many hugs. The funniest thing is when you give inanimate objects hugs. Apparently you think “hug” means “smash against your face.” Hugging your ball involves clobbering your forehead with it. You also do a funny thing we call night-night-wake-up! You rest your head on something for about 2 seconds and then abruptly pop up and laugh. It’s even funnier when you come night-night on the laundry basket or the dog.

 You treat boundaries as challenges, and when we won’t let you do something, you have two responses: all out TANTRUM complete with total drama and carefully calculated protruding bottom lip or charm us into letting you do it. Hey, look how cute I am playing with this forbidden danger. My smile, isn’t it great? Don’t you love how happy I am right now? You are a total con artist and I fear for the future, but for now it’s very amusing.

You are so vibrant. You are absolutely full of life, bursting at the seams with activity and sparkle . This doesn’t surprise me. I knew from the moment I felt you kick we were in trouble. And as you continued to grow in my tummy you continued to crash into my ribs and fling yourself around in there like it was your own personal mosh pit. You were born kicking, it was the first thing you did. You kicked the nurse, right before you peed on her. And then on your dad. You weighed 8 pounds and 15 ounces by the time they weighed you, but I’ve decided I’m taking credit for all nine pounds that you probably weighed prior to the peeing. You continue to be the most active kid I’ve ever seen and completely a maniac. And you are completely hilarious and a performer on top of that. You keep us laughing all the time, especially when you check to make sure we’re laughing appropriately.

We had a great party with you over the weekend. It was a great time surrounded by about fifty of your closest friends and family. You weren’t so sure about cupcakes, which was shocking. You sure loved trucks and presents that made noise though! I loved making signs and banners and centerpieces and generally going all out to celebrate you. A few people complimented us on the party and I wanted to correct them and tell them the best thing I’ve ever made is you. Sure, the cupcake may have been cute and the banner was alright, but you are my most prized and proudest accomplishment. And yet, I really can’t take credit for how awesome you are, I’m just thankful for the huge and undeserved blessing to have as a child.

You have made your father and I better people and I hope that over time we are better and better parents.  I want nothing less than the absolute best for you. I cherish you so much little boy. I never knew my heart could be so full and my joy so complete. I am so, so proud to call you my son. I am so happy to celebrate your birth and the first year of your life and I look forward to many wonderful years to come.

Happy birthday sweet monkey.

Love,

Mama

And it continues!

That cold Carter has? Seth took him to the doctor to check it out and it is (at this point anyway) just a cold. But the doctor did figure out he has two molars pushing through, which explains a lot. Poor daddy had to tend to the screaming baby the whole hour in the doctor's office.

Yesterday, my sister crashed her car. Thank God everyone is okay. Except the car. and the car in front of her. and then the car in front of that car.

And my grandpa's sister died. I didn't know her well, but it makes me sad for my grandparents, since both my grandpa and grandma were close to her.

Maybe we're getting it all out of the way. Maybe June is when our luck turns and the rest of 2010 is going to rock our socks off. Not like we wear socks, this is San Diego after all.

The Haps.

I know I’ve said before that I sometimes feel like our lives are spinning out of control. It’s been a year of trials and challenges, yes, of immense blessing as well, but there have been some bumps in the road. I almost have to laugh when I think through all of the things we’ve come through in the last year… a flood, multiple house repairs including 3 separate plumbing problems, the scary process of the MRI of our 6 month old’s spine, work challenges for both Seth and I, family issues I don’t ever even touch on this blog, the general insanity of a maintaining a home with two full time working parents and a very active youngster.

Well, the last month or so has really stepped up its game. All I can really do is laugh sometimes, take deep breathes and remember there's a reason for everything.

About 2, maybe 3, months ago we came to the inevitable conclusion that the slow drain in our master bathroom was not going to fix itself. A variety of home methods that would have worked for at least 90% of similar symptoms didn’t make a difference. Turns out we need to replace the pipe. Which is underground. Meaning, a plumber needs to pull out the toilet and jackhammer through the floor to get under the shower and replace the pipe and there’s a good chance that will fix it. The only other option around this massive, and as you can imagine expensive, process would be to convert our shower to a nice closet. Given the weight of the financial implications, we were waiting on that decision.

Then, two weeks ago, we found out that my mother in law, who has cared for Carter since I went back to work, would no longer be able to take care of him. This was through no fault of her own but other reasons I won’t get into. Unfortunately, we didn’t find out until very late in the process and had two weeks to figure out a plan. It’s been an absolutely insane two weeks on that front, but I think we figured out a daycare we’re going to try and hopefully we'll still be able to afford food. Now we just have to figure out a few weeks of gap between when he starts and when my mother in law will no longer be available, so I’m rearranging my vacation time for the summer and asking for help where I can.

Oh, and I’ve been very fortunate to work about 36 hours for the last 6 months, and for the last 2 have taken off Fridays altogether while I had some remaining maternity leave. That’s up next week so I’ll be back to 40 hours starting the week after next. Not really great timing for that. I literally cannot fathom how the heck I’m going to get everything done.

We spent our Memorial Day weekend transforming this:

To this:

In hindsight, had we known about the daycare stuff and in light of the other things going on, we would have waited on getting a giant load of bark dropped on our driveway. Someday we'll replant that dead palm tree and I'd really like jasmine bushes along the house, but that's not happening anytime soon.

Yesterday a co-worker unexpectedly went out on bed rest and I'm taking over 3 of her business groups. That made for the craziest day I've had in a long while.

We're also excited to celebrate Carter’s first birthday this weekend with about 50 of his closest friends and family. Unfortunately, Carter came down with a cold and is now sick. We’re just praying it passes before Saturday and that Seth and I are spared.

Suffice it to say, the shower remains in the same sorry state. Our solution? Shut the door. If only other areas of our life had doors we could easily close and allow for long-term ignoring. 

childcare providers: listen up.

You would be so lucky to know my little boy. 

He is a joy and treasure. He is hilarious beyond his 11 months. He already hides behind doors to scare me and laughs so heartily he nearly falls over. He is absolutely wonderfully complex. He is curious and smart. He is a bright soul and has tender, sweet moments that would melt your heart.

Honestly, you should be paying me. Or at least not poisoning his mind by spelling "kids" with a z. 

11 Months

[editor's note... as of 6 days ago.]

Dear Carter,

You’re ELEVEN months old! Every month I think that you sound so much older than the previous month. And it’s true this month, too. The difference between 10 months and 11 months is huge. What’s even more mind blowing is that we have a mere 30 days until we have a one year old running around. I’m even planning your first birthday party. It is so bittersweet for me. I have loved every moment and every stage with you, and I can’t believe we’re leaving babyhood behind as you’re starting to become a toddler. I may start crying now. Anyway…

You are honest to goodness MOBILE now. Last month you were army crawling a little and getting up on your knees here and there. Now you really crawl and I think you enjoy it. You’re pretty darn fast, which is not surprising because you do everything with speed and chaos. You creep along furniture and stand up in your crib ALL THE TIME (especially when you’re supposed to be taking naps). Sometimes you wiggle yourself right out of your pants. You are so very active sometimes your father and I just collapse at the end of the day. We’re two grown adults who outnumber you two to one and yet you still wear us the heck out! You tried to crawl out of your highchair the other day and came far too close to succeeding. I glanced away for mere seconds and when I looked back you had broken free from the straps and were standing up and trying to climb over the back of it. Before you were born I didn’t have any gray hairs. At this rate, I’ll be all gray before I’m 30.

You’re obsessed with clocks and wind chimes. You love to play guitar with your dad, or just crawl over there and try to grab the guitar when you think we’re not looking. Side note: we’re always looking - keep that in mind. You are constantly chattering up a storm and sometimes we still can’t believe the noises that come out of you, from growling to screeching and everything in between. You signed your first word about a week ago: more. It’s really the only sign I’ve taught you and you have fully embraced it. You ALWAYS want more puffs. You start out cute and smiling, but if I don’t give you more of whatever you want, you get very angry in your signing. Your brow furrows and you practically smash your hands together.  I think it’s funny that your first word was up and your first sign was more. That’s you in a nutshell: you don’t want to sit still and you don’t want to stop eating. 

Sometimes I give you things that you don’t like to eat. You haven’t fully embraced table food, but you don’t like to sit still while we feed you jars. I gave you a few pieces of banana and watermelon a couple of days ago. If you don’t want it, you respond in one of three ways: 1. frantically wave your hands all over the tray until all the food has successfully been flung on the floor 2. rub it in your hair or 3. pick it up, slowly extend your arm out over the side of the highchair and defiantly drop it on the floor. This thrills you and Stella.

Your nickname these days is crazy maniac. No other labels seem to fit you as well as that one. You love disorder and you’re very mischievous. If things are stacked neatly, you want to destroy that order. The other day there was a nice pile of papers on the end table and you crawled right over, pulled yourself up and tossed every single one of them on the floor. Once they were on the floor, you sat back down and proceeded to fling them all around. You laugh when people cry or cough, which is a little distressing in public situations. When we were at Costco a few weeks ago a poor little girl fell down and cried. Unlike most babies who would cry when other kids cry, you leaned back and chuckled. You also laugh when people cough. I almost choked to death on my water last night and you couldn’t contain your delight. I think this is bad news for the future.

While you are a curious explorer most of the time, you do sometimes get a little clingy in new situations. You’re very observant and alert and dare I say subdued and well behaved in those first few moments. You prefer to sit in my lap and take it all in until you’ve deemed the situation acceptable, at which point the façade ends and you showcase that you really are a crazy maniac.

We had a handful of less exciting milestones this month. We all came down with a nasty cold. As a mother, my first instinct with you has always been a. freak out b. google it, which is always followed by c. increase freaking out to epic proportions due to horror stories found through google. I want to take you to the doctor’s office with every sniffle and bump, but I don’t want to be that mom. You’re a kid, you get sick, it’s part of growing up and your immunities are probably pretty strong by now. But this particular cold didn’t let up and on day 10 of sucking snot of your nose (because I love you THAT MUCH) I finally took you to the doctor. To my absolute horror, you had ear infections in both ears and a possible sinus infection. From now on, I’m sticking to the plan of taking you in for every sniffle. We trudged off the pharmacy and picked up Baby’s First Antibiotic, a milestone I didn’t mark on the calendar . Add to that a few new teeth (a total of 8 now with more coming up!) and what I’m pretty sure is a growth spurt and you were one unhappy kid for a while there. The good news is that you LOVE your medicine. I think it’s probably full of sugar, which I don’t give you much of, and the sweetest thing you’ve ever had in your life. You actually get mad when we put it away and won’t give you more.

Two days following that trip to the doctor we celebrated my first Mother’s Day. Despite your illness and a range of other things that didn’t go as planned, it was still a very special day for me. Last year, I was 8½ months pregnant and you were already measuring 7 pounds as I waddled around on Mother’s Day. I could not WAIT to meet you and hold you in my arms. This year, you didn’t want to be held or cuddled or anything remotely confining, but I enjoyed just spending the day with you. When I attempted to rock you to sleep, you pushed off of me and tried to wriggle out of my arms. I gave up and put you to bed. But the next morning after I fed you, you actually fell back asleep in my arms. Go figure. You haven’t done that in at least six months. That was the best Mother’s Day present ever.

You are such a wonderful little person. As we experience life with you we are just so very thankful that we have been blessed by you.

Love,

Mama

real life products!

With Carter's birthday fast approaching and his ever-growing love of books, here are a few ideas I stumbled across

The Baby Be of Use Series
It's about time those babies do something useful.

Hola! Jalepeno

We live in San Diego. This introduction to Mexican food is practically overdue at this point.

Urban Babies Wear Black

Follow the baby in the city while he takes in the local art scene, sips on lattes and goes to yoga class. Other books chronicle rocker babies, foodie babies, eco babies, jet set babies and more!

theme song.

I'd never heard of mikeschair before I heard this song, but it seems so appropriate for the challenges of late that I wanted to put it here, mostly so I don't forget about it in 5 seconds. 




Let The Waters Rise


Don't know where to begin
Its like my world's caving in
And I try but I can't control my fear
Where do I go from here?

sometimes its so hard to pray
When You feel so far away
But I am willing to go
Where you want me to
God, I trust You

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

I will swim in the deep
'Cuz You'll be next to me
You're in the eye of the storm
And the calm of the sea
You'll never out of reach

God, You know where I've been
You were there with me then
You were faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand

[Chorus]


God Your love is enough
You will pull me through
I'm holding onto You
God Your love is enough
I will follow You
I will follow You

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

You're welcome in advance

Today's post is brought to you by my favorite Trader Joe's items that you should be buying right this minute. A few of them aren't specifically Trader Joe's brand, but can be found on their shelves.

1. Organic Brown Rice
If you only pick one of these suggestions, try this rice.
I'm not good at making rice. I also don't always have time to properly make rice even if I was the world's greatest rice chef. This stuff is great. You just microwave it for 3 minutes and you're ready to go. Practically instant side dish! I try to keep a few bags in my freezer. It's about 2 servings, so it's not going to supply rice fest 2010, but if I'm just making dinner after a long day, it's my go to.

2.  All things chocolate covered. To be more specific...
Dark Chocolate Edamame- A little sweet, a little salty, very addicting. Not everyone loves it, but it's worth trying.
Chocolate Covered Cherries- If the edamame isn't for you, try the Dilettante Bing Cherries in premium chocolate. A warning though- don't go for the slightly cheaper cherries. The fancy ones are really much better, though they are pricey. I sometimes keep them at work and snack on one or two after lunch. They're rich and delicious.

3. No Pudge Fudge
Did you know you can mix 2 tablespoons of this stuff with 1 tablespoon vanilla yogurt for a single serve brownie?  Or 4 tablespoons mix and 2 tablespoons yogurt if it's been a particularly tough day. I think they recently redesigned the package so it no longer features a pig quite so prominently. Good job marketing team.


4. Pita Puffs
These are new (I think?). They're air popped with a little bit of sea salt, a mere 120 calories for 30 puffs! I love them, though I will say that Seth could take them or leave them. They might be tasty with some Spicy Black Bean Dip.

5. French Market Sparkling Lemonades
Similar to the Lorina's variety pictured below, these are probably the most beautiful beverage containers I've seen. I particularly love the sparkling limeade, perhaps alongside a lime wedge-adorned goblet. I think that may appear on our dinner table tonight.