My babies and my baby daddy

Happy Father's Day to a really awesome dad. We all love you.

A moment.

A funny thing happened this weekend. We took a family trip to the fair, where I worked for 7 years when I was in high school and college. I know every type of fair goer and have experienced them all from the register side of the counter. This time, I was on the customer side of the counter. When I walked up to buy my cinnamon roll (seriously, one of the best things at the fair) with a baby strapped to my chest and my husband pushing a stroller behind me, I suddenly realized I'm a MOM. Obviously, I knew that, and I've come to terms with the loss of my coolness. Well, I was never really cool, but now I've lost all potential. I know exactly how that teenager saw me, and how I saw many mothers who walked up to my counter in the past.

I wouldn't trade in the baby in that pouch for all the cool in the world. Still, it was a weird moment.

12 Months!

Dear Carter,

I’m pretty sure this letter will be the one that mama wrote while crying. You are 12 months old today. You are ONE YEAR OLD. I’ve had a few occasions recently when I’ve come to come face to face with that revelation. When you crawl over to the nerf box and fling darts and weapons around in joy, I know that you’re becoming a little boy. When I tell you “no” and remind you once again that you cannot play in the dog’s water and you repeat “no” back to me, I know that you’re growing up. I think Daddy is really happy to get to play nerf with you and takes such pride in showing you the ropes. When you push away jars of food and demand a waffle (or five) for breakfast, I know your baby days are behind us. I do miss the baby time, and I will always cherish those times with you. But I love the boy you’re becoming and it makes us so happy to see you growing and figuring out the world.

Sometimes it feels like a brief fleeting moment since you came crashing into our lives. More often, I can't remember life without you. It's like you've always been a part of our world and nothing else would ever do. I think a child’s birthday is a celebration of their life, of course, but also a milestone of achievement for his parents. We made it! We all survived another year! We’ve kept you safe and healthy for this long! I sure hope you turn out to be more patient than your mother because we’re still figuring this whole thing out.  Last night, the earth celebrated your upcoming birthday with a little shaking and rolling. I was in bed when the house started shaking, and after about 0.7 seconds, I realized that it wasn’t going to stop. I bolt out of bed and flung myself out the door just as your dad was coming around the corner to scoop you up. Here’s the thing, I ran to get you and didn’t even stop to glance at my phone or anything else. We even left the dog inside before I pulled her out in the front yard with us. You were cool with the whole thing and I’m pretty sure you thought it was funny. You just snuggled into my arms and laid your head on my chest or hung out in daddy’s arms watching the dark neighborhood. It was precious. And then when it was all over and we knew it was safe, we took you back inside and plopped you back in bed and you went right back to sleep. Welcome to life in California. Don’t ask me what to do in a tornado or hurricane, but earthquakes?  I got that training. In a few years you’ll be crawling under your desk in earthquake drills (not that it will actually help you. Just run outside, okay?).

There have been some delightful and wonderful moments this month. We had a lovely memorial day filled with family and fun. You went swimming twice that day and LOVED every minute. You cried when we took you out of the pool. You are such a little water baby. Your auntie came home from college and you love her! It warms my heart to see you two together. You’re closer to walking and just about the fastest crawler I’ve ever seen. You’re talking more and you are a little parrot, repeating sounds and words all the time. You’re making noise almost constantly. Strangers still get a kick out of you out. You love animals, especially Stella, but pretty much every animal. You’re a very sweet child, and especially now that you give hugs, my heart practically explodes with contentment. You give such great hugs and nuzzle into my neck and throw your arms around me. That right there was all I ever needed in life. Daddy doesn’t really get too many hugs. The funniest thing is when you give inanimate objects hugs. Apparently you think “hug” means “smash against your face.” Hugging your ball involves clobbering your forehead with it. You also do a funny thing we call night-night-wake-up! You rest your head on something for about 2 seconds and then abruptly pop up and laugh. It’s even funnier when you come night-night on the laundry basket or the dog.

 You treat boundaries as challenges, and when we won’t let you do something, you have two responses: all out TANTRUM complete with total drama and carefully calculated protruding bottom lip or charm us into letting you do it. Hey, look how cute I am playing with this forbidden danger. My smile, isn’t it great? Don’t you love how happy I am right now? You are a total con artist and I fear for the future, but for now it’s very amusing.

You are so vibrant. You are absolutely full of life, bursting at the seams with activity and sparkle . This doesn’t surprise me. I knew from the moment I felt you kick we were in trouble. And as you continued to grow in my tummy you continued to crash into my ribs and fling yourself around in there like it was your own personal mosh pit. You were born kicking, it was the first thing you did. You kicked the nurse, right before you peed on her. And then on your dad. You weighed 8 pounds and 15 ounces by the time they weighed you, but I’ve decided I’m taking credit for all nine pounds that you probably weighed prior to the peeing. You continue to be the most active kid I’ve ever seen and completely a maniac. And you are completely hilarious and a performer on top of that. You keep us laughing all the time, especially when you check to make sure we’re laughing appropriately.

We had a great party with you over the weekend. It was a great time surrounded by about fifty of your closest friends and family. You weren’t so sure about cupcakes, which was shocking. You sure loved trucks and presents that made noise though! I loved making signs and banners and centerpieces and generally going all out to celebrate you. A few people complimented us on the party and I wanted to correct them and tell them the best thing I’ve ever made is you. Sure, the cupcake may have been cute and the banner was alright, but you are my most prized and proudest accomplishment. And yet, I really can’t take credit for how awesome you are, I’m just thankful for the huge and undeserved blessing to have as a child.

You have made your father and I better people and I hope that over time we are better and better parents.  I want nothing less than the absolute best for you. I cherish you so much little boy. I never knew my heart could be so full and my joy so complete. I am so, so proud to call you my son. I am so happy to celebrate your birth and the first year of your life and I look forward to many wonderful years to come.

Happy birthday sweet monkey.

Love,

Mama

And it continues!

That cold Carter has? Seth took him to the doctor to check it out and it is (at this point anyway) just a cold. But the doctor did figure out he has two molars pushing through, which explains a lot. Poor daddy had to tend to the screaming baby the whole hour in the doctor's office.

Yesterday, my sister crashed her car. Thank God everyone is okay. Except the car. and the car in front of her. and then the car in front of that car.

And my grandpa's sister died. I didn't know her well, but it makes me sad for my grandparents, since both my grandpa and grandma were close to her.

Maybe we're getting it all out of the way. Maybe June is when our luck turns and the rest of 2010 is going to rock our socks off. Not like we wear socks, this is San Diego after all.

The Haps.

I know I’ve said before that I sometimes feel like our lives are spinning out of control. It’s been a year of trials and challenges, yes, of immense blessing as well, but there have been some bumps in the road. I almost have to laugh when I think through all of the things we’ve come through in the last year… a flood, multiple house repairs including 3 separate plumbing problems, the scary process of the MRI of our 6 month old’s spine, work challenges for both Seth and I, family issues I don’t ever even touch on this blog, the general insanity of a maintaining a home with two full time working parents and a very active youngster.

Well, the last month or so has really stepped up its game. All I can really do is laugh sometimes, take deep breathes and remember there's a reason for everything.

About 2, maybe 3, months ago we came to the inevitable conclusion that the slow drain in our master bathroom was not going to fix itself. A variety of home methods that would have worked for at least 90% of similar symptoms didn’t make a difference. Turns out we need to replace the pipe. Which is underground. Meaning, a plumber needs to pull out the toilet and jackhammer through the floor to get under the shower and replace the pipe and there’s a good chance that will fix it. The only other option around this massive, and as you can imagine expensive, process would be to convert our shower to a nice closet. Given the weight of the financial implications, we were waiting on that decision.

Then, two weeks ago, we found out that my mother in law, who has cared for Carter since I went back to work, would no longer be able to take care of him. This was through no fault of her own but other reasons I won’t get into. Unfortunately, we didn’t find out until very late in the process and had two weeks to figure out a plan. It’s been an absolutely insane two weeks on that front, but I think we figured out a daycare we’re going to try and hopefully we'll still be able to afford food. Now we just have to figure out a few weeks of gap between when he starts and when my mother in law will no longer be available, so I’m rearranging my vacation time for the summer and asking for help where I can.

Oh, and I’ve been very fortunate to work about 36 hours for the last 6 months, and for the last 2 have taken off Fridays altogether while I had some remaining maternity leave. That’s up next week so I’ll be back to 40 hours starting the week after next. Not really great timing for that. I literally cannot fathom how the heck I’m going to get everything done.

We spent our Memorial Day weekend transforming this:

To this:

In hindsight, had we known about the daycare stuff and in light of the other things going on, we would have waited on getting a giant load of bark dropped on our driveway. Someday we'll replant that dead palm tree and I'd really like jasmine bushes along the house, but that's not happening anytime soon.

Yesterday a co-worker unexpectedly went out on bed rest and I'm taking over 3 of her business groups. That made for the craziest day I've had in a long while.

We're also excited to celebrate Carter’s first birthday this weekend with about 50 of his closest friends and family. Unfortunately, Carter came down with a cold and is now sick. We’re just praying it passes before Saturday and that Seth and I are spared.

Suffice it to say, the shower remains in the same sorry state. Our solution? Shut the door. If only other areas of our life had doors we could easily close and allow for long-term ignoring.